Trigger warning – grief
Let’s explore how we may feel about grief …
Here’s my experience. It may resonate with your experience of grief.
When my stepdad passed away, there was a vast empty void, but I was also looking after my tiny then 6-week-old daughter.
I’m a great believer in a life ending and a new life beginning. It’s very special spending time with the newborn, and the happiness (and pure exhaustion!) that it gives is incredible, the same with any young child, isn’t it?
During the funerals I’ve attended, it does seem that celebrants reflect the happy times, a funny story often recited. Finding the positive from the inevitably sad and sore feelings of a loved one’s passing.
At the early part of the grieving process, it’s sometimes hard to remember the important happy times and the wonderful memories of a special person when a mixture of emotions come to the surface, including denial, anger, resentment, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
This mixture of emotions is inevitable both before and after the funeral.
From experience, I have, however, fond memories of one relative’s funeral. Beforehand, all the women dived for the toilet just before. It was such a rush to go in and out in a limited time for many of us, so much so that we all fell about in giggles from the experience.
That was such a good icebreaker before the funeral.
After the funeral, at a social gathering, we recalled some fond, happy memories of how that person enjoyed their love of gardening and ballroom dancing, winning many medals. Memories which we treasure.
WHAT HAS ALL THIS TO DO WITH LAUGHTER?
After funerals (plus before and during them), others may think it not right to smile and laugh – but remember everyone is different, and we can feel more able to cope, plus have better nourished social connection if we allow ourselves to find the joy in life again instead of being solemn all the time.
The social connection that comes with Laughter Yoga sessions brings about dopamine and oxytoci,n those positive chemicals of caring and sharing experiences. Communities that are supportive nourish themselves and those around them with positivity, smiling and Laughter Yoga.
When I learned of Reverend Richard Coles trying out Laughter Yoga as part of a documentary on coping with grief (Channel 4 – Good Grief), it was amazing that he was trying something completely different for his own well-being.
Not only did Richard join in a Laughter Yoga session – he felt that he had lost his laughter after losing his husband, he also took part in telephone laughter (10 minutes on the phone). He felt better and more positive.
Tears are inevitable in the process of grieving, but doing laughter exercises helps us grow as people, brings positive chemicals inside us, helps us cope, and helps us start to live our lives. And be thankful for wonderful memories.
CAN WE LAUGH AND THEN GO TO A FUNERAL?
Four years ago, one client of mine came specifically to a Laughter Yoga session the day before a friend’s funeral to enable her to cope. I found this incredibly interesting.
Then a similar experience happened to me…
A few months ago, I agreed to deliver a company’s Laughter Yoga workshop.
Then, unfortunately, a dear friend’s passing – the funeral happened to fall on the same day as the workshop.
The Laughter Yoga session went well. I didn’t even think about the funeral during delivery, as is usual – the one-hour session was accompanied by a very cute office miniature poodle office dog.
At the funeral, I took my good, trustworthy hanky in my pocket, ready for the tears to come out in buckets, as per my usual sensitive self.
Guess what? The stabilisation of mood chemicals made me feel it, but it went through with ease, and the hanky wasn’t needed.
I’m sure that the hearty laughter in the morning helped me.
However, I feel that if I was standing at the front with a close relative, I would definitely feel more grief emotion than I did, standing amongst the other neighbours at the rear.
The front of any service is undoubtedly where you can feel much more vulnerable.
It was an interesting experience to try from laughter to grief.
At the wake, the celebration of life social get-together, we laughed about life and saw the funny side of life experiences.
Call it a re-awakening if you can.
Laughter Yoga can help us cope, heal from regrets and anger, gain social connection, and give life a real purpose.
CAN WE LAUGH AFTER A FUNERAL?
After funerals (plus before and during them), others may think it not right to smile and laugh, but remember everyone is different, and we can become more able to cope and have more social connections if we allow ourselves to find the joy in life again and not give up.
The social connection that comes with Laughter Yoga sessions brings about dopamine and oxytoci,n those positive chemicals of caring and sharing experiences. Communities coming together which are supportive, nourish themselves and those around them with positivity, smiling and Laughter Yoga.
When I learned of Reverend Richard Coles trying out Laughter Yoga as part of a documentary on coping with grief (Channel 4 – Good Grief), it was amazing that he was trying something completely different for his own well-being.
Not only did Richard join in a Laughter Yoga session – he felt that he had lost his laughter after losing his husband, but he also took part in telephone laughter (10 minutes on the phone). He felt better and more positive.
Tears are inevitable in grieving, but doing laughter exercises helps us process the inner feelings as laughing is a cathartic experience.
Simulating laughter, as in Laughter Yoga, provides happy hormones to bring more positivity, helps us cope better, and allows us start to really live our lives, be thankful for wonderful memories.
For more information on Laughter Yoga sessions, happiness workshops
and Bollywood Laughter Yoga Dance
contact Sara Kay – happy@seriouslaughter.co.uk
or call 07974 778091
Serious Laughter has been delivering life-changing Laughter Yoga sessions online and face-to-face since 2017.
