Is it possible to combine grief and laughter? Laughing through grief

Let’s chat about grief, firstly…

When my stepdad passed away, there was a huge empty void, but I was also looking after my tiny, then 6-week-old daughter.

I’m a great believer in a life ending and a new life beginning. It’s very special spending time with the newborn and the happiness (and pure exhaustion!) that gives is incredible, the same with any young child.

During the funerals I’ve attended, it does seem that celebrants reflect the happy times, and a funny story is often recited. Finding the positive in the inevitably sad and sore feelings of a loved one’s passing.

At the early part of the grieving process, it’s sometimes hard to remember the essential happy times, and the wonderful memories of a special person when all the mixture of emotions come to the surface, including denial, anger, resentment, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

This mixture of emotions is inevitable both before and after the funeral.

From experience, I have, however, fond memories of one relative’s funeral.  Beforehand, all the women dived for the toilet just before.  It was such a rush to go in and out in a limited time for many of us, so much so that we all fell about in giggles from the experience.

That was such a good icebreaker before the funeral.  As often in a wake, we recounted some fond, happy memories of how that person enjoyed their love of gardening and ballroom dancing, winning many medals.

What does all this have to do with laughter?

After funerals (plus before and during them), others may think it not right to smile and laugh – but remember everyone is different and we can feel more able to cope, plus have better nourished social connection, if we allow ourselves to find the joy in life again instead of being solemn all the time.

The social connection that comes with Laughter Yoga sessions brings about dopamine and oxytoci,n those positive chemicals of caring and sharing experiences.   Communities coming together which are supportive and nourish themselves and those around them with positivity, smiling and Laughter Yoga.

When I learned that Reverend Richard Coles was trying out Laughter Yoga as part of a Channel 4 documentary on coping with grief (Good Grief), I was amazed that he was trying something completely different for his well-being.

Not only did Richard join in a Laughter Yoga session – he felt that he had lost his laughter after losing his husband – he also took part in telephone laughter (10 minutes on the phone).  He felt better and more positive.

Tears are inevitable in the process of grieving, but doing laughter exercises helps us grow as people, bringing positive chemicals inside us, and helping us cope, being able to start to really live our lives.  And be thankful for wonderful memories.

CAN WE LAUGH AND THEN GO TO A FUNERAL?

Four years ago one client of mine came specifically to a Laughter Yoga session the day before a friend’s funeral, to enable her to cope.  I found this incredibly interesting.

Then a similar experience happened to me…

A few months ago, I agreed to deliver a company’s Laughter Yoga workshop.

Then, unfortunately, a dear friend’s passing – the funeral happened to fall on the same day as the workshop.

The Laughter Yoga session went well.  I didn’t even think about the funeral during delivery. This is because the brain can’t think about anything while in the present moment during a laughing yoga session. A gorgeous extra glimmer during the session was the presence of an adorable office miniature poodle office dog.

At the funeral, I took my good, trustworthy hanky in my pocket, ready for the tears to come out in buckets as per my usual sensitive self.

Guess what? The stabilisation of mood chemicals made me feel it, but it went through with ease, and the hanky wasn’t needed.

I’m sure that the hearty laughter in the morning helped me.

However, I feel that if I were standing at the front with a close relative, I would feel more of the grief emotion than I did, standing amongst the other neighbours at the rear.

The front of any service is undoubtedly where you can feel more vulnerable.

It was an interesting experience to try from laughter to grief.

At the wake, the celebration of life social get-together, we laughed about life and saw the funny side of life experiences.

Call it a re-awakening if you can.

Laughter Yoga can help us to cope, heal from regrets and anger, gain social connection, and give life a real purpose once more.

CAN WE LAUGH AFTER A FUNERAL?

After funerals (plus before and during them), others may think it is not right to smile and laugh, but remember everyone is different, and we can become more able to cope, have more social connections if we allow ourselves to find the joy in life again and not give up.

The social connection that comes with Laughter Yoga sessions brings about dopamine and oxytoci,n those positive chemicals of caring and sharing experiences.   Communities coming together which are supportive and nourish themselves and those around them with positivity, smiling and Laughter Yoga.

When I learned of Reverend Richard Coles trying out Laughter Yoga as part of a documentary on coping with grief (Channel 4 – Good Grief), it was amazing that he was trying something completely different for his well-being.

Not only did Richard join in a Laughter Yoga session – he felt that he had lost his laughter after losing his husband – he also took part in telephone laughter (10 minutes on the phone).  He felt better and more positive.

Tears are inevitable in the process of grieving, but doing laughter exercises helps us grow as people, bringing positive chemicals inside us, and helping us cope, being able to start to live our lives.  And be thankful for wonderful memories.

For more information on Laughter Yoga sessions, happiness workshops and Bollywood Laughter Yoga Dance
contact Sunny Turner – happy@seriouslaughter.co.uk
or call/WhatsApp 07974 778091